Impulsive Me, 'Super' Me and Strawberry-filled Dougnuts

After repeated bouts of tossing and turning around the bed last night, I finally had a good night sleep but I was disturbed by the noise outside my room. Workers from my family's newly constructed pad were re-piling blocks and lumber from the site and placed it right at the side of my room. I wanted to yell at them but I've realized some of the workers were my relatives so I just went out of my bed and ran to my pond. I instructed the housekeeper the other day to refill the pond every morning. I suspected a leak and Mom does not have the time to fix that crack underneath those lily pads. Lucky enough for its inhabitants! She's busy supervising the construction and administering my cousin's allowances for the entire month. Their parents are working abroad so that means, she got two families to run. She's a superwoman! Every time someone's sick in the family specially the old guys, she's readily available for them. I can't blame her if I don't see her in the house every waking moment. Love her though.

Last April my grandfather, Mom's dad, died from a stroke and she has always been on his side ever since he started to deteriorate 3 years ago. Two weeks ago, grandfather's elder sister, my Mom's aunt died of respiratory failure. She was always there, processing the needed transactions, the certificates and of course, nursing the sick. Mom was consistently mentioned in the eulogy. Anyway, I know Mother's Day is 2 months ago but I just want to give her the credit of being a good homemaker. After taking my light breakfast, I prepared myself for the day. I was asked by a special someone to buy a freshwater angelfish but I don't have the time. I went to our 'nest' and spend our vacant time together until 2 pm. The skies were gloomy but the weather was fine.
The review centre where I am currently reviewing is a kilometer or two from my 'special someone's' place so I have to leave approximately 30 minutes before 2 pm. Unfortunately, I arrived late. My classmates were already sticking their noses on their answer sheets. Hilda, the review coordinator smiled reluctantly then checked her tarnished wrist watch and gave me the answer sheet. The only vacant desk was at the front so I scooted the aisle for it. I only got 50 minutes to answer the 3-part test and I made it right on time. After the test, we checked and rationalized. As always, Hilda has the habit of asking one-by-one for our scores and repeats them in front of the class. You get a low score you'll be on the spot. I got 37 out of 40 and that was my highest score ever since I started reviewing. While Hilda's doing her roll call from the back, I noticed most of my classmates' scores were below 30 but one made it with 3 mistakes too. I was the last person called and said, "37," reluctantly. She nod and said, "27. 27 has a bandscore of 6.5 I'll be having your answer sheets then you can go home." I froze and I couldn't take it back if I did, that would mean something else. If I protested, I might be misunderstood so I left it that way. The recognition... gone!

I went down the steep staircase smiling yet my heart was really aching. The impulsive me and my 'super' me was in a moot but just like many other men, the impulsive me was more dominant at that time. I needed something that could bring back the equilibrium of the personality components. According to Freud, we got 3 personality components: the id, the impulsive, pleasure-seeking behavior; the superego, the person's nature that reflects moral values and ethics; and lastly, ego the balancing or mediating force. Ego was too weak to drawback the conflicting forces in me. I just took hold of myself and said, "There's only one thing that can balance the forces... and that's strawberry-filled doughnuts!" Right, strawberry-filled doughnuts. I went straight to Divisoria and bought strawberry-filled doughnuts. As I bit into the soft doughnut and felt the luscious sweet of the strawberry filling, everything was OK. Darn! I should have uttered 37 clearly but... it does not matter. As long as I get a good score and never cheated that would be fabulous.

Click the image above to see the personality components.