My Stash: 10 New Mantras For A Sexier More Empowered You
>> 18 July 2008
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10 New Mantras For A Sexier More Empowered You
1. Lower your head into the strong stream of warm water of the morning shower.
"I anoint myself with the powers of the universe. I am eternal and indomitable. I send out waves of irresistible appeal."2. Stand under the shower and close your eyes.
"I am renewed. I am liberated. I am free."3. As you vigorously towel yourself dry.
"From my skin emanates the essence of desire, producing longing in all who come near."4. As you gel, wax or molding-mud your hair.
"This crown, it rocks!"5. Professional or social rival riles you. Using very expensive foot cream, rub between great toe and second toe using thumb and index finger, slowly enunciating:
"I'm all that."6. Boss says your work sucks, your fashion sense sucks, you suck. Clasp your hands together behind your back, lifting them away from your body as you toss your head backwards; you should hear your upper spine crick. Take in a long breath through the mouth, silently saying to yourself:
"Sucking, it is good."7. Lover dumps you for someone younger, better-looking, richer and socially prominent than you. Bring a pitcher of water to you bedside. Assume fetal position. Weep for three days, drinking water when necessary (you won't need food). This is suicidal. On the third day, rise and flail your arms around as you twirl on your feet in a dance of acceptance and self-redemption. Utter:
"I'm still all that."8. Management committee meeting you're in is in its third hour and everyone's saying the same thing they said last week, not to mention just an hour ago. Sitting with feet at shoulder width and firmly planted on the ground, rest both arms on your knees raising the hands in gesture of discreet benediction under the conference table. In your mind, say:
"Blessings to all God's creatures." or "Shut the f*** up already. You said that na kanina pa!"9. On a weekend stay at parents', laundress bleaches carefully blow-torched Helmut Lang jeans into a pristine, preppie white. With both hands quickly trace a large Z in the air, snapping at each corner of the letter. To the rhythm of the snaps, say:
"Easy come, easy go."10. Martini arrives tepid. There is no known consolation to this horror. Feel free to hurl invective and furniture.
Image from: www.visiblemantra.org
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